EDIT 09.25.2012: Here goes version 3!! 8DDD More info, prettier profile graphics, updated story info... have fun.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
○ One Piece OC Profile: Loki ○
“Memories aren’t just your personal history book, they’re a large part of your identity. I think that’s what’s confusing me: I don’t remember being Flos, so I must not be her. All I remember is Loki – so she is what I have to be.”
RACE: Human [Bear Islander subgroup] Gender: Female Height: 185cm Weight: 86kg Hair: Wheat-blonde with white-blonde sunstreaks, usually tied up in a messy ponytail/loose bun Skin: Clear, tanned, calluses on palms and soles of feet Eyes: Sea-blue, unusually slanted Build: Fairly solid, long torso, wide hips and shoulders Distinguishing Features: Bear Islander slanted eyes Theme Song:Something In The Water[Brooke Fraser]
BIRTHPLACE: Quenby, Goose Island Age: 23 [25 post-timeskip] Birthday: 18th April [Aries] Home Island:Snowy Archipelago in the New World Current Residence: The Moby Dick FAMILY: Balder Torquil [father], Idonea Svartsengi [mother], Loki Svartsengi [uncle], Frigg Torquil [brother], Freyja Torquil [sister] ○ Future: Ambrose [son] ○ Crack!Pirates ‘Verse: Tharaman, Marcel, Ambrose [sons], Laura [daughter] See HERE for more on the Crack Pirates
Loki (then called Flos) was born in the town of Quenby, the main trading port on Goose Island, part of the Snowy Archipelago. A winter island, with summers a little more than five weeks long, and winters almost six months in length, it is largely ignored by most of the world. As a home, Goose Island was relatively safe; it lay within the pirate Emperor Big Mom’s territory, and very seldom suffered from pirate attacks. Flos’ father, Balder Torquil, was one of five smiths in the town, and specialized in the making of swords. Her mother, Idonea Svartsengi, a native of neighbouring Bear Island, had been an apprentice shaman before she left to marry Balder. Idonea, nineteen years old when she gave birth to Flos, was considered a foreign upstart by most of the women of Quenby. Two years later, a son was added to the family, and nine years following, another daughter was born.
Idonea raised her three children according to her Bear Islander beliefs, which taught self-belief and independent thought as their base tenets. Flos grew up a quiet, watchful child, one for whom her Bear Island relatives had great hope for as a shaman to replace Idonea. Flos, however, lacked for ambition, and found her greatest pleasure in watching the fishing fleet, Quenby’s second great industry, dealing with their catch. At eight, Balder and Idonea gave up their hopes, and allowed Flos to apprentice herself to a fishing boat’s crew.
This particular boat was captained by the original Loki, Idonea’s younger brother. Young Flos idolized her dashing, handsome young uncle, and grew to love her time on the boat. She was a good sailor, but not great. Her talent was in swimming, which Loki cunningly used to get her to flush the shoals of fish into the nets.
However, Loki had one great fault – avarice. He had acquaintances in the pirate world, whom he owed considerable debts to. He could not repay these debts quick enough for the pirates’ liking, so Estes Köen, captain of the Easter Pirates and the meanest of Loki’s creditors, decided to take his revenge in an incisive fashion. He killed Loki’s crew one by one, saving his most ingenious cruelty for Loki himself. Estes noticed the resemblance between Flos and Loki, and correctly guessed at their family relationship. He decided, in the end, to leave Loki to freeze to death on an uninhabited island in the archipelago... and Flos, who on the crew's final, ill-fated voyage had fished out of the ocean and promptly eaten a strange, foul-tasting fruit, became the unwilling pet of the psychotic captain.
– SPOILERS: Wait 'til Roofies gets to dealing with her past –
Waking up in the middle of a crowded street in the Republic of Carolinge, Flos no longer remembered anything of who or what she was, let alone what had happened to her. Rescued by a young Carolingen girl, Damini Alalari, she unthinkingly began the huge task of creating a new identity to replace her old one. Newly renamed Loki, she stayed for a couple of weeks on Carolinge, but eventually the desire to find out, not necessarily what she had been, but what she would become, drove her out onto the open ocean, accompanied by Damini.
Soon the pair fell in with a lone Whitebeard Pirate, Portgas D. Ace, who had been traveling back to the main body of Whitebeard’s crew after a successful solo mission. Facing down dangers and petty crimes together, they developed a bond of mutual liking. Near the end of their journey, Ace suggested that Loki and Damini join the Whitebeard Pirates. The offer was quickly accepted.
Loki and Damini were placed into the first division under the command of Marco the Phoenix, alongside Ace, and quickly became part of the crew as far as the lower-ranked crewmembers were concerned. However, Marco, Malicia Grim, Damini’s new taskmaster – and Whitebeard himself harboured suspicions about Loki, her demeanour and her combat ability in particular. Over the first few months, they kept a close watch on her, though Loki herself was largely unaware of this.
Loki soon rediscovered her Devil Fruit power, and wisely kept it a secret, privy only to a select few people. Marco took her out of the main division, and placed her as an apprentice doctor, under the tutelage of Lilian Maldive, the Whitebeard Pirates’ senior doctor. For the first few months, she was forbidden from using it, as Lilian rightly suspected that its effectiveness depended on her personal medical and anatomical knowledge. However, after a crash course in human biology, Loki began to use it to heal the wounds collected by her fellow Whitebeard Pirates.
– SPOILERS: See 'Something in The Water' for details –
Her Fanfiction:Something In The Water • Crossover Storylines:One Piece[Paramount War arc] - Gutter Black [Mattes | Merry | Heart Pirates] - The Sunset Lands [Damini/Ace] - Civil War Kingdom [Francie | Flissy] - Lilies For Loss [Lilian/Kitri] - Colour Of The Conqueror [Jory | Roger Pirates] Character Origin: Originally conceived as a self-insert character which kind of got away on me a bit. She ended up being nothing like me, but I’d developed a massive soft spot for her, so I renamed her, reworked her basic story, and persevered. The self-insert idea eventually got recycled as Cat Davies, but Loki became my main OC over the course of starting to write her story.
PARTNER: Marco ‘the Phoenix’ Status: Pirate – Apprentice Doctor Crew/Affiliations: Whitebeard Pirates, first division Bounty: 225.000 beries initially [Marineford War], later increased to 90.000.000 beries [Maer Caldera Massacre; degrades to 25.000.000 beries if dead on delivery] :thumb201041562:
Weapons Two stiletto daggers, her fists and feet POWERS/ABILITIES: DEVIL FRUIT: Saku-Saku no Mi • Family: Paramecia >>>Sub-class: Perpetually active • Origins: Eaten on purpose in Snowy Archipelago waters • Energy Source: Metabolic sugars and proteins • Focal Ability: Complete but imperfect healing. + Encompasses regeneration as well as normal healing; however omits recovery from illness, and is not capable of putting displaced bones etc. back into place, resulting in hideously mishealed displacement wounds… + Overuse drains her energy; healing life-threatening injuries leaves her as weak as a kitten for up to a week, and in the past has left her comatose for short periods + Can be automatic and free-working, but in order to repair wounds much bigger than a scratch the wielder needs to have at least some anatomical and medical knowledge to do it right… + Actually more painful than healing naturally – DF’s second price is that it demands the person being healed must still feel every bit of the pain that would normally be spread over the natural healing period – thus, the shock alone could be lethal if not managed properly.
Hand-to-hand combat – Fallen Marine style: Loki’s preferred fighting style borrows from both the official Marine hand-to-hand methods and pirate brawling tricks – something common to most fallen Marines, hence the name. It makes use of the discipline and self-control of the Marines’ methods, but also borrows the ruthless cruelty and efficient quick-kill tricks the Law tends to shun. Loki learnt it from watching her former captain/master, Estes Köen, fight, and although she does not remember learning it, her body remembers how to execute it… Prodigious physical strength/resilience: Thanks to her Bear Islander ancestry, Loki is stronger and has more natural endurance than most women. Thanks to her gender, she is not capable of the berserker rages of her male brethren and can’t match their explosive physical power, but she makes up for this with calculated skill. While her personal power can’t be compared to experienced pirates like, say, Marco, she is eminently capable of holding her own in a straight up fist fight. Anatomical Knowledge: Loki can and will use her knowledge of the human body in order to damage it as much as to repair it. She does this by targeting physiological weaknesses, manipulating joints and muscles in ways they’re not supposed to go, and by being sometimes gleefully willing to hit below the belt, as it were…
• Likes: The ocean, beaches, peppermint chocolate and ice cream, lightning, rigging duty, thinking, not having to do much healing work after a battle, and being around Marco. • Dislikes: Insects, thinking too much [far too easy for someone like her, and it gives her headaches], people who betray their friends, most sweets, and Marshall D. Teach. [She refuses to grace him with the title ‘Blackbeard’ even in common conversation…]
○ Very pragmatic and practical: reason well before honour. ○ Lots of physical and mental fortitude (she can survive pretty much whatever you throw at her), a will to complete whatever task she’s been assigned to the best of her ability ○ Cunning, good with logical cause and effect, watchful of her surroundings and good at noticing subtle differences. [Where people are concerned, not so good at interpreting what those differences actually mean…] ○ Not particularly imaginative, likes to make comparisons between things she knows ○ Philosophic and accepting of events and facts; whatever will be, will be. Can come across as fatalistic... ○ Once she gets used to it, she loves being up high and able to look out over the world below her ○ Instincts tend to be pretty good (perhaps an indication of an affinity for Kenbunshoku Haki) ○ Has difficulty forming interpersonal bonds due to her cool, standoffish nature. Because of this, she treasures the bonds she has, staying loyal to them for life. ○ Absolutely hates traitors. She can deal with people trying to kill her and her friends in an honest fight [‘Pirates,’ she says, ‘so fair enough,’] but backstabbers make her truly angry. ○ Often blunt and indelicate, sometimes to the point of being offensive; little to no empathy for others or awareness of how her actions will affect them ○ Inward-focusing, self-preservation is her first instinct. Has a definite selfish streak. ○ A lack of confidence and initiative [at first, deriving from her amnesia; she’s got no idea what to do], very passive. Often doesn’t take opportunities she really should; people have to make her take the risk. ○ Wants to be useful; becomes skilled enough that she can take care of herself if needs be but also enough that the people she cares about can rely on her. [Starts with a severe lack of both ability and confidence in this fact.] ○ Once she’s come to a conclusion, she is very reluctant to change it in any way [read: she’s stubborn as hell] ○ Stresses herself out by trying to do everything at once…
RELATIONSHIPS: ○ Marco: Loki’s relationship with Marco was built from mutual fascination with one another. There is something about them that draws each to the other, a certain sort of personal magnetism that stymied both of them at first. After making sure his initial misgivings are unfounded. Marco takes it upon himself to help Loki integrate into the crew. It takes Loki a while to realise that her liking for him is more than just platonic, and another long while for them to decide what they really want to do with it (a lot of things get in the way). Once they officially get together, they’re very comfortable with their place in life, and tend to act like an old married couple…
○ Lykaios Philipa: Loki is terrified to death of this guy from the onset. She does not trust him at all, to an unusual extent even for a pirate and a Marine. Being around him makes her edgy and snappy, so the few times they meet don't tend to go well. Lykaios remembers dealing with her in the past, however, and provides an (invaluable in hindsight) clue to the events which led to her amnesia.
○ Edward Newgate – Whitebeard: Loki’s captain, a figure for whom she holds immense respect. To begin with he scares her a little, but once she discovers how much of a softie he is with regards to his crew, she starts to regard him with real affection. She has little to do with him in day-to-day life, but still tries to keep an eye on him, more out of curiosity than anything else. He’s one of her main role models.
○ Lilian Maldive: As Loki’s teacher, he tends to be the most steady presence in her life. She gets along very well with him, as they both share a similar sort of mind (and it’s the type of mind that doesn’t mind being confronted with itself, either). Their relationship is built on a purely intellectual bond, shored up with mutual liking. Lilian fills quite a fatherly role in Loki’s life.
○ Sherwood Brandywine: Loki’s relationship with Sherwood was rocky to start with, as he was one of the Lightyear Pirates which jumped ship after the battle on Kiiroen Island. She did not trust him at first, and still regards him with a little caution, as both she and Lilian think he is a little too erratic to be a doctor. For his part, Sherwood seems to like Loki (which doesn't really say much; he treats her as irritably as he does everyone else) although due to the immense age gap he treats her like a child, which irritates her in turn. She tries to avoid speaking with him as much as possible.
○ Portgas D. Ace: Loki likes Ace, although sometimes his boundless energy makes her feel tired and dull in comparison. They get along well, mainly because Ace does most of the taking and Loki is happy to sit back and listen. As her first friend among the Whitebeard Pirates, he enjoys a special place in her heart, and as a highly skilled fighter and strong pirate, he inspires respect from her.
○ Damini Alalari: Damini and Loki are pretty close – bffs, basically. Damini gave Loki her name, and looked after her for the first few weeks, during which time Loki was pretty damn helpless, and Loki feels eternally grateful to her for that. Damini’s easy way with people, as well as her confidence, inspire quite a bit of respect in Loki, as for her, that sort of stuff is really difficult. For her part, Damini admires Loki’s strength and fortitude.
○ Marshall D. Teach – Blackbeard: Loki never quite knew what to think of Teach. At first she suspected that he was a little like Thatch and Ace, intentionally burying his competence for all matters piracy under layers of good-natured stupidity. She was quite watchful of him at the start because of this, but gradually let her guard down, thinking of him as another eccentric among the crew. Then he killed Thatch, and the rest is history…
○ Thatch: Loki quite liked Thatch. She respected and admired him as well, like the other commanders, but his joking, easygoing personality endeared him towards her. Thatch had a tendency to be quite indulgent towards her, which annoyed her until she realized that he treated every woman in the crew the same way. The manner of his death left a permanent scar on her psyche, the root of her more fatalistic tendencies.
Colour Themes: Aquamarine and sky-blue Element: Earth Animal Theme: Blue duck [also peacocks and fish, don’t judge me…] Flower Theme: Clematis Seiyuu: Yukana [Isane Kotetsu – Bleach – Rinslet Walker – Black Cat] Character Tropes:The Comically Serious • Good Thing You Can Heal • The Quiet One • Fantastically Indifferent • Amnesiac Dissonance • Brutally Honest • Not Quite Dead ○ If Loki existed in the real world she’d be Icelandic. Island nation home, pirate, Norse theme… come on, it’s fitting! ○ She has an unconscious habit of clutching her neck with her right hand when she’s nervous or knows she’s in danger. ○ She enjoys extremes of weather – baking hot summers, for example, but also snow and ice. ○ She prefers savoury food to sweets – preferably the sort of low-class, greasy stuff you find at cheap fairs and around the edge of markets. She actively dislikes most sweets, with the exceptions of bitter chocolate, alpine strawberries, and peppermint creams ○ She smells like either peppermint or industrial cleaner, depending on whether she’s been working in the medical bay or not. ○ She finds it easier to get along with men than women, and as a result of her pre-amnesia life being rather more populated by men than women, has herself adopted some quite masculine body language. ○ Often mistakenly ascribed to her Devil Fruit, she has a formidable constitution. She almost never catches illnesses, she rarely feels too hot or too cold, she has to drink staggering amounts of alcohol before she gets noticeably drunk, and she almost never feels nauseous. ○ Following on from the previous point, she can get drunk, but she never gets hangovers. This is because, while the effect of the alcohol can remove her mental inhibitions and otherwise affect her like a normal person, her Devil Fruit ability heals the damage any excessive consumption causes. ○ She hates grey skies, as they make her feel tired. The one exception to this rule is storms, because the static in the air negates this feeling. ○ She tends to react to strange things the same way as she does to everyday things, because she has no experience to tell her what exactly is ordinary, and what is not.
SCOREEEE! I GET TO DO A CRITIQUE ON KEM-SAN'S ART!! :3 I don't know what you want so I'll write a critique for both the art and character :3
Overall, the art is well done, it displays your OC very well, I see you've went through a lot of time to develop your character (trust me, if I see a description that long I KNOW you've spent a lot of work).
I don't know if it's just me but some of the art doesn't look like yours (I don't mean it in a rude way! I just see so many different styles of art-- or maybe you're good at drawing it in different ways...?)
For the OC itself, I find some things lacking (beware, I am not the nicest critique on earth and you can see that by the other critiques I've written). It has the 'Kem' style, but not so much of the Oda, One Piece style. I know lots of people say: Oh that's so boring, I'll switch it up myself and that's fine, but it's just for me I like the Odacchi style :3
Her clothes reflect her style and her eyes although they were drawn, give off a pressure I don't know how to describe. Deep? Intense? And that picture with Marco on the side give off a totally different feeling-- it only gives off the sense of love.
Basic profile: My OC also has amnesia, and she had a different name too, except she remembers a lot of her past but she's slowly forgetting things, her past and her present. However, with originality, I'm going to have to give it a 3 because I've seen one too many OP OC's (including mine too XD)
One thing that totally confuses me all the time (especially in your journal) is how the heck do you get a name like that?! Loki is pretty normal and common but her real name... I just ... I can't... D: but it's still very cool! Does it have a meaning to it?
I think this might be one of the first OC's I've seen with no WHB measurements! Congrats =.= and the first OC I've seen who doesn't look like they're almost anorexic (but that doesn't stop me from loving them!) And I like tall people too :3
Story: The story is quite good! I tried editing once (being the terrible grammar nazi I am) and I remember trying to write how you can improve on your writing (you asked once...) but I couldn't point anything out. I guess my ultimate thing is it feels very heavy sometimes. Oda, with the exception of Marineford, made everything very light and cheerful, however, with two serious characters like Loki and Marco, you can't set the mood (forgive me if I got something wrong, I haven't finished reading yet!)
One thing I am never happy about with these OC's are their bounty prices! I know people look down on characters--especially OC's if they are not 'strong', which is based on the $$, but I swear I've seen one too many bounty prices go up just by attending the marineford war. Luffy's first bounty was 30mil, and Loki's was 25mil. What did she do to get that bounty first? Forgive me if I sound rude, but whenever I ask people this question no one comes with an arguable answer :/ Even in the Marineford war, if you're just a plain old navigator on the crew, I doubt you'll get an upgrade on your bounty, much less 50 mil. You have to do something to get the cash. butifsomeonecankindlyexplaintomeratherthankillingmethat'dbeappreciated T^T
The other thing is, the words 'softy' and 'WB' do not go together in a sentance unless the word 'is definitely not' is in between them. I underestimated WB at first and put him as my santaclause/grandfather/fatherly figure, but when I rewatched Marineford, he's really not. He's a giant with imense power and knowledge, he's a man who acts as a captain and a father to his crew, not a guy you sit on his lap and go hohoho, tell me your problems my dear and let's see if I can break the skull out of him. WB seems much cooler when you write him in a badass way I think a man who only knows how to command.
Other than that, I think Loki is a wonderful character! Good luck to her, you, and Marco for the future if there's anything you want me to change in the critique just tell me~
...I was reading your story on fanfiction.net, and the first of her abilities started to show up. With the name of Loki and the fact that she might have the heal-heal fruit, I started to think of a picture like this one when I was looking on Google. I'm glad I remembered it, turns out that I finally get to read a story that I know I have seen an OC before. Some OC pictures with the character only has that, the pictures, and not the story behind them. So when I finally made the connection, I was like "YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I like Loki she is well developed and you have managed to avoid her being Mary-Sue despite her having two major and cliche Mary-Sue traits. The amnesia actually affects how Loki behaves and is not just there for angst and so that you could avoid giving her any backstory at all. Her healing powers also have some limits and I remember reading your explanation about how they work which makes total sense.
I also like her visual appereance. You managed to make an unique looking character despite making her blue-eyed blonde which is almost the most cliche look for all female protagonists. I also like that you gave her a realistic weight for girl that tall. Lot of people seem to give their characters weights lesser than 60kg often barely even 50kg so I like that Loki is actually heavy. She is 15cm taller than me and weighs about 5kg more than me which I think is acceptable if she is slender/skinny since I'm quite curvy (too big for skinny too small for plus-sized).
Seriously, out of all characters, I like Loki the best. Her bounty is not supernova and at least higher than the canon characters. I like how her relationship with Marco is like an old married couple: loving and very warm. Most OP OCs I see mostly have dramatic relationships with the characters. I'm also impressed that Loki does not dress in slutty, revealing clothing and she looks more like an actual pirate! Her personality is well developed as well! Keep up the good work
Was told on a Mary Sue blog site that some shmuck 'stole Loki's personality word for word' and decided to look you up for a taste of decent characters; this girl seems wonderful (at least well-written, if not likable as a person), no wonder bad writers would rip it off! And now that I've noticed your art style is also amazing, I'm gonna go look at all of your pictures ever. Seriously you rock thank for you not being a bad writer.
pfft, ohman I remember that. At the very least we got a good laugh out of it, so... fond memories. XDD Which blog, might I ask? [I tend to be wary of those tbh, Loki ended up on one getting attacked once just 'cause someone found a commission I got done and decided that meant she was a Sue u__u;; Fortunately it doesn't sound like that was the case here, but.... y'know, she's my baby XD]
Thank you very much for your comments, though! I used to be a bad writer, but practice makes perfect ;D I'm glad that's no longer the case~
she's the best one piece character i've ever seen, much better than most of the sues out there,
her profile is just so well done and her relationship with characters does not make them go OOC for her, her powers make sense, her look is practical, her personality is great and just everything about her is so awesome~